2019 5-11-10
Well first off I should mention that I've added some pics to my previous posts about my trip around south China. I'm not done typing them up, not by a long shot, but I'll get there so continue to just check.
Today was pretty… tame I guess. Everyone that I could remotely call my boss wasn't at the office today. But I did get an e-mail from Niko informing that I had two new projects, one looking at the changing mobile payment markets, and the other is to redesign their "Company Introduction" power point presentation. It's the later that I worked on for most of the day.
I've come to realize that after training under Kim in accounting I've become much more detailed oriented, especially when it comes to other people's work. It's actually become kind of a pain in the ass. After I spend an half an hour making sure all the pictures of flags are perfectly sized and vertically and horizontally aligned it gets a little old. Also little things start to annoy me, like underlined text, I now realize I hate underlined text. If it's not a hyperlink, it shouldn't be underlined. Ok maybe I'm starting (or continuing) to go crazy.
I talked with Agnes a little bit today; she read my blog (well at least the part about them) and really liked my description of them. Kind of embarrassing, but o well, I also realized I misspelled Kianie's name, there's that "i" at the end that I forgot. Hopefully she'll forgive me.
Anyways so at work I once again lead an English luncheon. We discussed the Shanghai expo and kind of delved into more advance English, which I can't decide whether or not this is a mistake or not. They're not really ready, but I don't really have time to teach them more basic material. I figure they can learn the vocabulary on their own, and I'm not really qualified to teach them the technical aspects of English, but what I can offer them is a native perspective on English, and native pronunciation which is what I've decided to focus on. They were highly amused when I tried to pronounce Chinese names and words in straight forward English.
One guy I don't think is really interested though, his English is the worst of the group and I think he's just bored. I now understand how kids in school fall through the cracks. I really just want to abandon him and try to help the rest of the group as much as possible. But of course that means he'll just get worse, so I guess I'm going to simply have to single him out and hopefully keep him so engaged that he can't help but stay focused. Luckily the rest of the group has gotten over the "silent" hump and seem to be more willing to talk then they were the last time.
I kind of ate dinner with the Frenchies, more like I got dinner with Clement and met up with some of the others by the river. I stood there a bit, but after awhile of nothing but French I kind of quietly wandered off. I guess I rather be an outsider alone, than be an outsider in a crowd. Also met PingPong's boyfriend who just came into town, didn't really talk to him, just said hello and they left. He's sexy and he knows it, that's really my only impression.
I've began (maybe "reminded" is a better word) that I'm great at meeting new people, and I think I'm fairly good at keep "true" friends. I am terrible at everything in between. I'm just to bitter, if someone shows me that I couldn't fully trust them, or that they are willing to disregard my feelings I pretty much immediately abandon them unless they turn around and put substantial effort into the relationship (that's really a theory, I don't think it's ever happened). It's not even that I push them away; I just engage a "empty pleasantry" defense mechanism.
This is one of my major faults, I think I would be much happier and have more… well I won't say friends, (my definition for that word is much stronger then the majority of people's) but at least people more people to hang out with if I just ignored those "transgressions" and just enjoyed their company for what it was and maybe overtime I would begin to trust them again. But I don't. My only theory on this is that I really hate "gray zone" relationships. I want to clearly know how I stand with someone, I'm like the stock market, I hate uncertainty (at least in this area of my life). This is also one of the biggest reasons why I hate being single, suddenly every female friend is "potential" and I really hate that.
Already anyways that was a super tangent; sorry about that just decided to muse on that for a bit.
I'm going to start typing up part 4, should be ready in an hour or two.
Night.
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